Let us look at Ephesians 6:1-4 again
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise:
3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Besides Asher, we have spiritual children and many of our sons and daughters are able ministers of God all through the globe. Our interaction with them is love and prayer and also godly counsel when we feel the need.
When God brings us into the world, he didn’t create us like Adam and Eve alone with no one. He put us into the womb of one who will be our parent giving a us mothers and fathers who will nurture us from young. God didn’t nurture us Himself but that responsibility was entrusted to our parents. Our parents are stewards of our life. Godly wisdom, love and care godly parents pour onto the children from young help them to grow in wisdom, in statue and in favor with God and people.
Similarly many are born into the kingdom of God and have to be nurtured as disciples. The training as disciples and leaders starts the moment a person is born into the kingdom of God. From the time one is born into the kingdom, the nurturing process and a growing process should start. To learn and grow one needs to be taught.
In some cases which are extremely rare, God would personally tutor a person but in most cases, God expects the young in the Lord to be trained and admonished by mature spiritual men and women of God. That is the scriptural way which are instrumental to the rise of bible schools and training programs.
In the process of admonishing and training there maybe crisis in the relationship as it is not easy to receive corrections. I would say it is hard for one to correct and the other to receive corrections especially for young ones in the Lord who are convinced that everything they do and say is of God.
Some spiritual parents in their disappointments deal strongly or harshly with good intentions but the disappointments in their words can result in offenses. I am guilty of it as well in my earnest desire to see one improve I speak up but sadly it may not be taken well.
That is probably the reason why many would not tell when something is wrong or not good. Praises are given freely but corrections that are helpful are hard to find. I give you an instance – once I wore a coat inside out accidentally (I would say upside down but correctly it is inside out). I was about to speak on stage of a big audience. No one told me about my coat. When I had finished speaking and came down, someone came to me and said. “You know you wore your coat wrongly.”
I said, “Thank you but why didn’t you tell me before I went on stage? “
That’s the issue- people don’t tell. It takes love with no fear of rejection – to tell the truth!
It is very hard to heal offenses so I advise all spiritual parents if it has come to that stage, stay cool and let go. No point in forcing anyone to listen to you. Relationships are built on honor and trust. Once those two elements are not there, it’s time to let go.
Ephesians 6 says, ‘And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.’
Both spiritual parents and natural parents are positioned in the one’s life to bring training and admonitions. Training and admonitions would mean firm instructions and corrections that should be given in love.
However being human the natural reaction is wrath or disappointments laced with sadness or disapproval when the protégé rejects and challenges the correction; which may result in unintentional reactions and words from spiritual parents that can be offensive. It is good at this point parents to humble ourselves and apologize regardless how right or great we are. We had unintentionally provoked instead of spurring him/her on into greater heights. Our humble apology removes the rock of offense placed unintentionally upon our
protégés
The purposes of admonishing are to make the protégés see the goal and destiny at the same time perceive their shortcomings which would possibly thwart the destiny God has for him/her. It takes humility to receive correction and training with right attitude to learn and improve.
The whole process can be easy and smooth if both the spiritual parents & children or Mentors & protégés and/or disciples have love, respect and honor towards one another.
By Pr Christina Ang